I still was not finished with getting most of my frustrations out through this series. It developed into a great discipline practice for me artistically. Not only was it therapeutic, but it showed me just how dedicated I could be to a specific theme and aesthetic. Something that felt trapped inside of me for so many years, such as my sexuality, needed a safe place to release itself. I began to mentally exist within this intimate space, and explore my thoughts and fantasies. Whether they involved me directly or indirectly, I wanted to observe the scenes that sexual frustration produced in my mind. If I could or would not do them, there are others who did. This is what was exciting and interesting to me. The stories and events that other men were involved with, aroused my imagination. It was not based on things I always heard, these activities. Most of the time there were just hints I understood, regarding what some men really wanted. I understood the depth and need of what was communicated so bluntly. This was expressed in conversations with random men, who too were sexually frustrated. I remember listening to people's fantasies in chat rooms, online or through phone sex. These stories do exist, and I enjoy them because it involves gay men like myself, who are honest about the nature of their desires without shame. I admire this, even if it is not something that influences me directly to participate in. I enjoy visualizing and watching the scenes that play in my mind.
1. Body Machine # 91
2. Body Machine # 92
3. Body Machine # 93
4. Body Machine # 94
5. Body Machine # 95
1. Body Machine # 91, continues round two of the intercourse between these men. I think the close up, with the oozing semen, turned out beautifully as a homoerotic expression. It displays the fulfilled lust among men desiring men. The male genitalia and the exposure of anuses, sums up the symbolic potency of explicit gay liberation.
2. Body Machine # 92, is a one I really like, because of the posture and showing the man standing on his toes to enter. It shows the slight awkwardness of size and height, when being intimate. The inks blended very well with this piece. The contrasts of light and dark throughout the room was captured successfully. The window has an old school decor about it. It is a window that symbolizes those in the house, that I grew up in. It is a kind of window that comes to mind first, when I have to draw one. Now, many windows are decorated with blinds, and built differently. The cool air would blow the curtains in my room at night, during the summer time whenever our attic fan was turned on.
3. Body Machine # 93, was a simple layout with the ballpoint pen, before layering my washes. It is one of those pieces, that is simple and to the point. I respect it for this alone, as it threads the series into the next drawing.
4. Body Machine # 94, is one that was unexpected and improvised more so than some of the others. I just began a different angle, and the facial expressions came according to however my line choices created them. I do not recall wanting the bottom's face to appear as it did. But I also did not have any clarity on how it would look in this scene. It did not matter much, like in most of these drawings. It was more about exercises, than accuracy or intention. But, I will say the top turned out successfully, with the pleasure expressed in his gesture. His depiction trips me out, because it too was not intentional, but as he was sketched out, it seemed appropriate that he was getting his, when details were added.
5. Body Machine # 95, is the same process as described in number 4. This one also trips me out, because of his facial expression. It is true to life, as this drawing displays motion to me. He is responding to the pounding thrusts of the top. And he is keeping up with the pace of the rhythm. I even drew the symbol, that appears in some comics, in which represents the smacking of flesh. The tongue slightly sticking out, was something new to draw for me, and could have translated unsuccessfully. But I believe it was accomplished very well.
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