At this point in the series, I was beginning a vacation from work, for a week! The plan was to complete as much as I could with my time. I worked on at least two pieces at a time. While the washes were drying on one drawing, I would work on another. My materials were spread out over the dining room table. My ex boyfriend cooked and watched horror movies, like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Final Destination series on cable. I occasionally glanced at the screen, as we talked about various subjects. It was the best example, of what it could feel like to be an artist full time. The flow of ideas were continuing, as I remained out of my own way with any self criticism. This series was becoming more of a leisurely and relaxing experience.     1. Body Machine # 96                    2. Body Machine # 97                               3. Body Machine # 98...

I still was not finished with getting most of my frustrations out through this series. It developed into a great discipline practice for me artistically. Not only was it therapeutic, but it showed me just how dedicated I could be to a specific theme and aesthetic. Something that felt trapped inside of me for so many years, such as my sexuality, needed a safe place to release itself. I began to mentally exist within this intimate space, and explore my thoughts and fantasies. Whether they involved me directly or indirectly, I wanted to observe the scenes that sexual frustration produced in my mind. If I could or would not do them, there are others who did. This is what was exciting and interesting to me. The stories and events that other men were involved with, aroused my imagination. It was not based on things I always heard, these activities. Most of the time there were just hints I understood, regarding what some men really wanted. I understood the depth and need of what was communica...