The Body Machine Series No. 76 - 80

I drew with a more loose direction of line, during the creation of these pieces. There was a period when I searched online for images of black bodybuilders. Since my childhood, there was always this fascination with muscular men. We are introduced to them through cartoons and comics. The superheroes are usually dressed in revealing costumes, that seem to even eroticize their bodies. The muscularly large bodies are no less visible in art history. The exaggerated or emphasis on size is often used as a symbolism of masculinity, power and great strength. All of this can excite a gay boy discovering his own sexuality and fantasies. It does not have to be bodybuilders either. It can be seen in the athletes position during sports and media platforms. Stocky men can display this same appeal, it does not have to be a chiseled appearance. I draw other sizes to contrast with such body types to emphasize the beauty of appreciating variety. The evidence of someone's body being different from your own is what can be so attractive. I was aware of Chris Dickerson as a professional bodybuilder, before discovering him as a gay man. I was extremely proud of the historical value to this. He broke barriers as the first African American bodybuilder to become Mr. America. And his brilliant craft of posing and appearing dignified like a piece of muscular art in motion is phenomenal to me. When I learned he also became an open gay male, during his success and fame it was extremely inspirational for me as a black gay man. I really knew I was onto something with this series, and it was no taboo, to be professionally devoted to the performance of bodybuilding as a gay man. It can be someone's story, and generally is.

1.Body Machine # 76                         

2.Body Machine # 77                     

3.Body Machine # 78                       

4.Body Machine # 79                      

5.Body Machine # 80                       

1. Body Machine # 76, is an experiment with the light of a refrigerator illuminating space, in a dim kitchen area. It is mostly noticeable on the cat Nubia. This is the break before round two of the sexually active pair. I like capturing a domestic feeling in drawings, that involve my figures. The comfort of being at home is very important to me. I try to express that in my drawings, by including beds, sofas and occasional kitchen scenes, when necessary. The washes blended very well, on his body. I was satisfied with this piece. And it the overall display of light and dark turned out successfully. It was one of the earlier attempts at this, and accepting that some areas can be left white for visual effects. I was breaking away from covering everything with wash, in all of my drawings. I strongly disliked leaving areas white, as it appeared negligent and unfinished, to be considered a complete composition. After finishing drawings like this one, and from my lynching series, I learned the significance of doing this. It is especially effective and relevant, with pen and ink.

2. Body Machine # 77, was initially going to be another drawing with text involved. I created a thought cloud near his head. I cannot remember what the thought was going to be exactly. But I decided to get rid of it. Since it could not be erased, I just added layers of dark washes to cover it. The tiny clouds remained, as I did not want to conceal too much of the refrigerator. The angle of the dark wash, adds to the overall piece, causing a dream like affect.

3. Body Machine # 78, is a good edition to this series, involving Nubia being fed. I really love the perspective of this scene. The anatomy of a cat is captured well here. The angle of her head reaching towards the eating bowl, with a kneeling figure pouring food, is a good narrative. I was very pleased with this process and outcome, and again the contrasts of light and dark was effective.

4. Body Machine # 79, was another experiment of excluding my signature ballpoint pen approach. I used a brush to darken the lines with black ink. It was a process that I really wanted to satisfy me aesthetically. I had hoped less was indeed more, regarding materials. I would not need to rely on the pen, and use brushes for the entire drawing. But line is too important for me as an artist, than brush strokes and smooth edges. The lines from the black ink are too overbearing for my style of illustrating a story. The micron pens do not satisfy me either when washes are combined. I did several drawings with the combination before, and just was not pleased. It was the method, I wanted to work for me the most! I wanted to eliminate the inconsistent red line of the ballpoint pen, and achieve a more " blended " look in my drawings. It just appears too flat for my taste, unfortunately. I enjoy micron pens better, without adding washes. This turned out well enough, as another attempt without my ballpoints, but not to a point where I no longer wanted to use them. I am still trying to accept this as my style and approach to drawing. The bold, black brushstrokes, did allow more grays to be added successfully.

5. Body Machine # 80, is another one of my favorites. The drinking, as the cup conceals part of his face, turned out better than I expected. It also is expected that he had to take a sip, while walking back towards the room. The perspective of the hallway, with him walking and handling drinks, without spilling them, just excited me to draw! I was becoming more confident in executing any particular scene that was desired. I probed my imagination for what was being seen at the time, while continuing the story's flow. To draw him walking around naked in the privacy and comfort of his own home, while having " company " is just sexy. The hands holding ice filled drinks, was fun to draw, and I enjoyed the process.
 

The Body Machine Series No. 71 - 75

There began to be a transition near the end of my depressive episode. I used to say " I got my mojo back. " This is before I understood what and how depression works periodically throughout one's life. Depressive episodes tend to last for a duration of about two weeks, I have read. Some periods can be longer for others. It makes since to me, because now I know what is happening during these moments when the " mojo " feels lost! After number 71 was created, I began to feel like it was no longer a Herculean task to continue drawing. I was enjoying the process of creating a story again, as it continued to unfold, and reveal itself to me. It was also revealing myself to me as well. This set from the series, concludes the intimate session, on the floor between the two men. 

1. Body Machine # 71                     

2. Body Machine # 72                    

3. Body Machine # 73                    

4. Body Machine # 74     

5. Body Machine # 75 

                

1.  Body Machine # 71, is the last drawing during  this particular depressive episode. Afterwards, I began to feel like my mojo had once again returned! His facial expression is my favorite area of this piece. The grimace made, when one is giving it all they have got. And depending on the individuals, sex can be very physically exhausting, when complete. The twisting and curling of the top's feet, also expresses a peak of exertion. I was anxious to move on to another drawing for the series, while finishing details on this one. 

2. Body Machine # 72, is another one that strongly stands out as one of my favorites. The facial expression is also great and intense. It is the explosive orgasmic moment, that can be a spiritual experience. This is the look I see while staring at the scene here. The hand motioning that he is perhaps maxed out, really trips me out! It is a piece that makes me chuckle, as I look at it. It is like a hallelujah moment for him. I enjoyed the process of this one, because it seemed to create itself. This is why I often chuckle at it. The finished piece surprises me. It is also like his body is saying "Hold up, wait a minute!"

3. Body Machine # 73, is a moment when the top feels like he won the battle, and conquered! He laughs and enjoys watching the defeat of his sexual opponent, who stands massive in size. But this is what the bottom wanted to feel like, as he stands, exhausted and worked out. They both are pleased. The man smaller in size, made his point, perhaps again, not to underestimate his appearance. The bottom fairly enjoyed the challenge, but plays along with the 

" power struggle " game. 

4. Body Machine # 74, continues the fun and bragging about who got the best of whom. As it seems to be explained, that this is just round one! The bodybuilder takes a break. While I thought about preparing for a series like this, there were many ideas for creating a comic book. I contemplated the multiple paneled pages and dialogue. But I disliked the process of creating that kind of format. Although I experimented with drawing comics and word bubbles periodically, I was very much interested in the effects of single paneled pages. And I wanted the panels to be wordless and tell the story visually. I researched wordless graphic novels. I was also very inspired by Tom of Finland and Belasco. And the series works of Jacob Lawrence really influenced my decision, to go in this direction. Although, I still played with the idea of text within a few pieces, just to see how they would turn out. 

5. Body Machine # 75, is another one of my favorite pieces from this series. We are reminded that one of the main characters has a pet cat. It also reminds the viewer that there is still a life outside of his own personal desires. He has a responsibility to his beloved cat. It is a precious relationship, that I wanted to add to the series. I liked capturing the hallway scenes in pen and ink washes. It was something new for me at the time. Drawing animals is not one of my favorite subjects, and it was challenging to capture the essence of a cat. I grew up with cats as pets. They are the preferred animal to draw, if I had to choose. I like the contrast of the nude male figure, beside the smaller black cat. I also began to enjoy experimenting with the walking male figure, especially capturing the muscular curvature of legs and feet.

     

           

 

The Body Machine Series no. 66-70

 Within this set, I remember having to push through a condition during the period, in which some of these were created. It was a depressive episode, triggered by stress from work related issues. And I was continuing to struggle within a relationship with my then partner, that was taking its toll on my mental health. I felt discouraged from the amount of fatigue that weighed heavily on me. Although I was deeply frustrated with outer influences, discouraging me from creating when arriving home, it was a reminder of coping strategies that drawing provided. This series was inspired by sexual frustration, and the need for expression of such issues to aid as a safe, therapeutic outlet for me in many ways.

Body Machine # 66                         

Body Machine # 67                                             

Body Machine # 68                        

Body Machine # 69                                               

Body Machine # 70         

1. Body machine # 66, is a close up of what takes place in the previous drawings. When one is watching porn, they will see such scenes as these, depending on the director, and period. Scenes like these are supposed to arouse the viewer more. I like the detail that can be explored visually, from a draftsman's perspective. I believe drawing sex can be as adventurous as actually having it. 

2. Body machine # 67, is when I remember experiencing another depressive episode. I came home lacking the motivation to sit at my drafting table. I felt crappy and wondered would it cause me to produce bad work. Usually I cannot create when depressed, and it is such an unfortunate feeling. I tend to journal only through these moments. But I was determined to keep going. I turned on some music, and grabbed my pen and Bristol board pad. I sketched out whatever scene came into my mind, that somehow continued the series. I was not pleased with what was appearing on the white surface. But I did not care at this point, because it was only important to keep going. And I did achieve persistence, if nothing else.

3. Body machine # 68, was still during this episode. I became content with just remaining creative. I experimented with shapes to present anatomical perspectives, that were not drawn before, by my own hand. I will say I pushed through enough, to become daring, and challenge myself. When I do not care much about polished results, the best things happen. 

4. Body machine # 69, I wanted to add things in the room, that were important to me, like books, cds and art. I was not fond of leaving wall spaces blank, with sheet rock as many modern rooms display. The wood paneling, allowed me to fill in the spaces with more line and depth. I have changed this aesthetic in my drawings, since then, but it was enjoyable during this period. It was very effective in my lynching series, as it reflected the times and narratives.

5. Body machine # 70, I did not always think in chronological order with this series. Sometimes I thought about individual panels, that could be placed in various areas of the story. And with this drawing, the comforter and pillow are not included like previous drawings. But anything could have happened in between intimate moments, realistically speaking. They could have decided to do without them. But because I cared less about 

quality, and more about working through my depressive episode, certain details were ignored. I was also experimenting with surfaces and textures beneath them for visual effects. While doing this, it did not always occur to me, if certain scenes matched in drawings before them. Sometimes pieces were completed and immediately put away so I could have room for creating another one.